With Every Heartbeat
by PinkFever
Summary: What if you could do it all again? What if you had the opportunity to fix everything and make it all better? Well, Bertolt Hoover just might get that chance. (Update: Authors Note! Important!)
1. And Again

**PLEASE read the note at the end when you can.**

 **Besides that, enjoy the story! :)**

* * *

The world was a cruel and unforgiving place. Bertolt Hoover knew that better then anyone else.

His life was a burden, a hindrance for everyone he knew and loved, and he hated that - yet there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

The Eldian's in paradise where monstrous, horrible creatures that deserved nothing but death. They were the ones responsible for his miserable life, so they were the ones who had to suffer for it. Of course, that's what he was taught to believe.

Somehow he made it by and was given the opportunity to be useful, offered a position at a young age to become what's known to be a cadet warrior. It all started from there. He was chosen to become the next inheritance of one of the seven Titans, the Colossus Titan.

His first mistake.

He was ordered to take down the Eldians in the year 845 along with three others, and they did just that. In a matter of seconds Bertolt Hoover had become a prime threat to humanity, and, according to what he's been told, that was only the next step to completing his mission, and he believed it.

His second mistake.

Years prior to the slaughter he met and befriended an Eldian by the name of Eren Jeager, his third and most fatal mistake.

They laughed together, they cried together - hell, they went through a lot together. Eren told him how the Colossus Titan killed his mother, how he could do nothing but watch her be devoured, and just how defenseless he was against such a monster. It almost hurt listening to him. Almost.

Bertotlt gave his condolences.

 _*(*)And Again(*)*_

They hid their identities well, however there were times Reiner had completely forgotten about his true self. He was a warrior, not a soldier, and every now and then he would have to remind him that, his best friend.

Reiner was broken. There were times Bertolt had asked him about what they should do next, and the other looked lost, one night in particular being being a good example. The two were alone in the stables grooming the horses when he first noticed it. The taller had asked him about the mission, and he'll never forget the puzzled look he gave him in return.

"What are you talking about? What mission?"

Bertolt almost smacked him right then and there.

After that incident it became an everyday routine, and every now and then he had to remind his friend of his blissful ignorance. Annie didn't say anything about it either, ignoring the problem entirely. They never really conversed with one another, but that was understandable. Nothing really needed to be said.

Unfortunately, at some point she was caught. At some point she slipped away and Bertolt never saw her again. She failed the mission.

Reiner forgot about it easily and moved on, Bertolt could not.

He lost all of his friends on a day that was suppose to be standard.

Titans had breached wall Rose and everyone was immediately put to work. One of his Eldian friends lost his entire village, another fought a titan with her bare hands to save a child and somehow lived to tell her heroic act, and another revealed herself to have murdered one of his comrades in cold blood.

Ymir, a sarcastic girl who only seemed to live for herself, was the very reason a fourth warrior could not complete his mission. She devoured him before their very eyes, Reiner being the one to help the rest of them retreat before they were all eaten. They had to wait another day to come back and take down Wall Maria after that. She helped them escape a hoard of titans, but that didn't change the fact that Bertolt wanted her _dead_.

During the take back of wall Rose his true identity was revealed.

It was a good day for Reiner. He didn't have to be reminded why they were in paradise in the first place. He told Eren about their unforgiving act, about everything, and that if he didn't come quietly with them they would do it all again, right then and there. Bertolt played along, secretly thankful to finally take off the pitiful mask he's had on for so long. He was finally able to breath again, and now was his chance to finish it all in one blow-

But then _he_ came and ruined _everything_.

Armin Arlert, Eren Jeager and Mikasa Ackerman's childhood best friend. The boy wasn't strong physically, but it was almost frightening how intelligent he was. Reiner told him at some point to stay cautious of him, but they hung around one another as if they've been friends all their lives. It was sickening.

Armin was the one who blinded Bertolt and took Eren right from under his nose, and he was the one who figured out their hiding spot when they tried to take him back - he was the one who took Annie away.

Bertolt _loathed_ the blond, but a part of him understood his actions, and he despised that.

Armin's intelligence was wasted. He would have been so much more useful if he weren't an Eldian. They could have been better friends. Bertolt knew he would have most likely become a warrior if he weren't raised to be a soldier. Armin was one of the very few people who, after a while, frightened the Colossus - and for that, he needed him dead.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen.

His life was taken by the very person he couldn't stand, all because of the Eldians he had befriended.

They all just watched as his life slipped away - no remorse, no grief, no regrets. Nothing. They did _nothing_. And, regrettably, Bertolt understood.

Everything flashed before his eyes - his life, his choices, his friends, even his enemies. In the back of his mind, for a very, _very_ brief moment, he regretted _everything_.

He regretted all the lives he'd taken for self gain, the innocence he had stolen from women and children because of not what he believed in, but what the other Eldians believed in - what the Marley's believed in. He regretted not being able to go out for drinks with his friends as promised after they retired, he regretted not telling Eren how _truly_ sorry he actually was about his mother's death, and he regretted not being able to say goodbye to Annie.

It all happened so fast, and Bertolt will absolutely _never_ forget about just how _terrifying_ it was to die.

Death happened all around him, he's seen it more times then he would have liked, and it was a fear he knew he had to deal with one day.

He soiled himself, screaming louder then he ever thought possible, and everybody just watched.

That's all he remembered after that, and despite it all the feelings he had before he died was ten times worse than the physical pain. Quite the warrior he turned out to be...

Bertolt could've only wished he had half of Reiners ignorance.

 _*(*)And Again(*)*_

"Alright, we should be ready to get started soon."

He was on his back when he slowly opened his eyes. It was warm, comforting. Bertolt likes the feeling.

Looking up he sees a clear blue sky, the sun's warmth washing over him as the strong scent of beans filled the air. He slowly turns his head and sees a small rusted pot cooking beside him, a low fire underneath it as steam seeps above it.

There were voices. Two voices to be exact, and the both of them were very familiar.

 _Huh?_

"But I haven't even finished eating yet. Let's do it before the sun goes down, ok? Relax a little." Comes the other voice, further away from him. The first voice scoffs and seems somewhat annoyed.

"Hell no! You know damn well we need to get this done and over with as soon as possible! I didn't drag your asses here for nothing!"

The second voice sighs, and Bertolt can hear footsteps getting closer to him. "Yeah, yeah. I heard you the first time... Ah! Bertolt your finally awake!"

Bertolt blinks several times as he sits up, quickly noticing just how _big_ everything looked. The pot he saw before was bigger then both his hands, and his feet were a lot smaller then he remembered. Looking down at his clothes, he doesn't remember putting them on at all. Wasn't he in uniform before-

He froze.

He was in uniform, but then...

Bertolt's heart sank. He gasps and frantically looks around, finding himself face to face with the very last person he expected to see.

"Oi, Bert, you alright?" Marcel asks, arms crossed.

Marcell Gillard, one of the fallen warriors.

Bertolt still remembers his heroic act, saving the three of them by sacrificing himself just so that they could live. He never forgot his face. In fact, he looked exactly the same from when they last met. Nothing about him changed.

"Oi, Bertolt, you ok?" The second voice spoke again, and he recognizes him to be none other then his best friend, Reiner Braun.

His mouth goes dry, and subconsciously he makes an effort to get away from the both of them.

Reiner frowns. "Bertolt?" He questions again, and this time Marcel seems to catch on, but he doesn't say anything about it.

Annie stood close by, some firewood in her arms. Much like the rest of them she looked very young, everything else about her remained quite the same, personality included. It was never easy for him to tell what she was really feeling.

Bertolt remained frozen in place, unable to say or really do anything. It wasn't until Marcel actually offered a hand to help him up when he finally screams.

Reiner immediately runs to his side and asks him what was wrong, but Bertolt snapps at him and tells him to stay away. Tears come streaming down his face, and he finds it very difficult to keep his attention off of Marcel, someone who was suppose to be _long_ dead.

His mind goes numb, and just as Annie starts to say something the ground shakes violently.

A titan had emerged from the ground, and was glaring down at all of them, h _ungrily, a_ nd Bertolt knew exactly what was about to happen.

He had somehow managed to pull himself together then and there, yanking Marcel down in his place while the titan lunged itself at Reiner. The blond was paralyzed with fear, eyes wide and unable to move, just how Bertolt remembered it. In a panic he cries out his name, pushing him out of the way as the titan swung it's arm down on them.

He saved his friend. Unfortunately no one was able to save him.

The titan got a hold of him, and there's a sharp pain that's sent through Bertolts spine as he struggles.

He could only watch as the fear came crawling back to him. Just like before he could do nothing as the monster opened it's jaw and bit down on him hard, and the last thing he remembers seeing is the horrified expression Reiner had on him, Marcel screaming his name before everything went black once more.

 _*(*)And Again(*)*_

This time he woke up covered in sweat, a young Annie to his side crouched down at his level.

He screams again.

"The hell!?" Marcel ran over to him along with Reiner, both surprised. "Bertolt what is wrong with you!? Are you trying to get us caught!?"

He goes to say something, but only small noises come out of him. He shakes his head and violently rubs his eyes. _This...this can't be real..._

He... He was back? And... he was alive? Bertolt looks himself over again, then his surroundings: same pot, same smell, same clothes - nothing's changed. Almost as if nothing happened. He looks to Reiner who gives him a worried glance.

Marcel regains his composure and drags out a sigh. "Damn it, don't just up and do something like that. I thought you saw a titan or something."

Bertolt's eyes widened.

 _Ymir!_

"W-we," He started to say, and it really catches him off guard just how light his voice is. He clears his throat and tries again. "We need to get out of here."

No one says anything, and for a very split second, Marcel almost looks angry.

"Why?" Suddenly questions Annie, and Bertolt flinches hearing her voice. He doesn't recall how long it's been, how _long_ it's actually been since he's last seen her face. It starts to bring tears to his eyes. She was here, all of them were, and they were alive.

They were safe.

Bertolt uses his sleeve to wipe his eyes, taking in a deep breath to control himself. It all felt so strange, weird even. It didn't feel right. No words could describe what he was feeling, maybe a sense of Deja vu, but that's the closest it's going to get.

"...A titan." He whispers. It occurs to him that Ymir probably noticed them because they made to much noise. Maybe. It could have also been their scent that gave them away, or perhaps their presence all together that disturbed her, but none of that mattered now. He needed to focus on keeping all of them alive, and there was only one way to make that happen.

 _Run_

"Huh? What about a titan?" Reiner looks around. "Actually, I think we scared a few off when-"

"T-there's a titan! Over there! Right behind you!" He clears his throat again, reminding himself to keep his voice down. "We...need to get out of here."

The other three looked over to the direction he was pointing, and believe it or not, you could almost visibly see a few claw like fingers poking out from beneath the surface. It almost blends in with the earth, but if you got a good look at them, they were fairly noticeable. Bertolt wants to kick himself for not noticing them before. He started to wonder how long she had been under there. A few years maybe?

Marcel blinks several times. "What the- Oh shit, your right!" He goes over to a few backpacks piled up near the wall and tosses one over to Reiner, telling him to quickly put out the fire. "We'll do this somewhere else. Annie, get your stuff to. Reiner if that things jumps out, you transform and get us out of here. And Bertolt...Good eye."

Something inside his chest starts to swell, and it wasn't until Reiner had asked him again what was wrong did he notice the tears. Nothing made sense. Annie, Reiner- Marcel! None of them should be here. And...they were kids? Bertolt looks down at his hands again and notices them trembling, cheeks flushed as he started to wipe his eyes again. He was in shock.

 _What...what's going on..._

It doesn't take very long for Ymir to finally notice the four of them, and it takes Reiner only mere seconds to cut his hand open and get them all out of there safely. The deviant chases them for a while, but at some point they escape her after Reiner finds a way to get his hands on the nape.

Bertolt flinches when a sickening _crunch_ comes from the titan bellow him, an ear piercing howl ripping through the air before she finally goes limp and falls to the ground with a heavy 'thud'.

Marcel praises the blond for his deed, and Bertolt can't help the small grin that escapes him.

* * *

 **This is the first chapter. Yeah. Kind of short, but in my defense i'm _extremely_ iffy with it.**

 **If you like it and want more, please tell me with a review. I need at least ten to get me to continue with this story. I have ideas for it, but, again, very iffy with it. (I don't know if others would be interested)**

 **Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it either way. If I write another one I'll make sure it's a bit longer. Thank you for reading!**


	2. Greed

**Alright. Another chapter.**

 **I can do this... (enjoy?)**

* * *

They're mission is carried out the following day.

Reiner had used up most of his strength getting them to safety, so it made sense to let him rest for the time being.

Bertolt was the only one who had a hard time sleeping that night. He didn't know how much this would affect the future . How many more people would die this time? How many would live? Maybe someone he knew would fall because of him, someone important...

No. Bertolt shakes his head. None of that mattered now. All he needed was Eren Jeager, alive, and if he could achieve that much, then he could go home. With his friends. With Marcel.

Alive.

He would hopefully get to meet Reiner's mom when he returned. Every now and then the other would brag about how she made the best apple pie, something Bertolt actually wanted to try for himself at some point. Annie would also get to live a better life. He didn't know much about the female, but the very thought of just seeing her everyday, without being in any kind of danger, that made him happy.

And then there was Marcel. The two weren't close, but Bertolt wanted to change that. After saving his best friends life, he did feel entitled to get to know the guy a little better.

Everything might work out this time. Of course, Bertolt still had absolutely no idea what was going on. A part of him wanted to believe his death was all but a dream, an enigma, and another part of him tried to convince himself that everything was going to be alright now, but something kept him away from that. It all felt off - it felt wrong. He didn't know why, but just looking at Marcel and Annie, it sent a sickening feeling to his gut. Was it guilt? It most certainly felt similar to the familiar feeling, but at the same time, it wasn't.

It's almost dawn when they have breakfast, their last can of beans. They had to split it, but no one complained.

Reiner was the one who suggested they attack now.

"Not yet. We have to make sure everyone's awake."

Marcel lifts a brow. "Why?" He asks him, and Bertolt couldn't find an answer.

So he makes an excuse, something about still waking up and wanting to rest, and it somehow works. Truthfully, he didn't know why he wanted to wait, and the sickening feeling came back when he realized it was because he wanted to give those within the wall a chance.

 _You don't want to do this,_ Something tells him, and it sounds gross.

Of course he needed to do this! He couldn't go home empty handed! Besides, everyone was counting on him - his friends, his family, Reiner - everyone! Why would he even think something like that?!

"Bertolt?"

He looks up from his small bowl and over to Marcel, noticing the look of concern on his face. "...Yeah?" he says, voice small.

Marcel looks like he wants to say something else, but instead he points to his food. "It's getting cold. Don't waste it."

Bertolt apologizes and takes a bite.

It tastes terrible.

 _*(*)*Chapter 2*(*)*_

They scare off near by titans before he's handed a small knife, Reiner giving him a quick pat on the shoulder and a 'good luck!' before keeping his distance.

Everything was set.

Bertolt knew what he had to do.

He eyes the blade, and for a moment, he forgot about the others behind him. After this, everything was going to change. He didn't know how exactly, but it was definitely going to be different then last time. Along with Marcel alive, and being a day late overdue to take down the wall, who knows what was in store for him. But there was one thing certain Bertolt made clear, one thing he knew had to change.

 _Victory._

He held his breath and slit his hand open, braising himself for the impact. Turning into a titan was never fun. After every transformation his body was always sore, and it would always felt like he had grown an extra inch because his spine tended to stretch out more in an awkward manner. Of course the effect would wear off after about an hour or so, and everything would feel normal again, but that didn't change the fact that it was pretty painful.

Bertolt opens his eyes again and finds himself looking down at the Eldians, and he knows.

They were frightened. Mortified even. Many of them pointed at him in aw, some even coming a bit closer to get a better look, but he knew what they were all really thinking.

He remembered the scene all too well, only this time Bertolt could point out some familiar faces.

Mikasa Ackerman and Armin Arlert survived the fall of Shigashina years ago, alongside none other than Eren Jeager himself, only this time he wasn't present with the two. The Colossus couldn't see him, and a part of him hoped he hadn't run off somewhere far from where he was suppose to be.

Everything is quiet. The humans bellow him continue staring at the 60 meter titan, unaware of what was to come next, and Bertolt takes it all in. Relishing the feeling.

He knows what needs to be done.

 ** _BOOM_**

The wall comes down much easier then he remembers, one kick and chunks of rock go flying everywhere into their once peaceful world.

They all scatter at once, screaming and running around like caged animals, ready to be slaughtered.

Satisfied Bertolt deflates, and he's greeted with a harsh yank from Marcel who pulls at his arm and forces him out of the warm flesh. The four of them watch the first titan curiously step inside, glancing around a bit before fully taking advantage of the situation. A few others follow it.

They can hear them screaming at the top of their lungs. It's faint, but it definitely didn't go unnoticed.

Success.

Now for phase two.

Reiner transforms again and by passes the other titans before they could be caught, everyone curled up in the palms of his hands as he carried them close to his neck. This is the very same tactic they pulled off before, and it worked just as well as it did the first time.

He drops them off on one of the tree branches in the forest before making his way over to the gate, and Bertolt watches it all.

He watches the Armored titan charge at Mall Maria, taking out hundreds more. He watches as the little boy he once knew named Reiner Braun slowly slip away and turn into someone he barely recognized. He watched it all, and because of that, he was forced to realize once again that _this all could have been prevented._

He knew it, Annie knew it, Marcel knew it, Reiner knew it. The all did. But none of them were willing to admit it, and it's because of that one third of the human race was wiped out that day.

And all they did was watch.

 _*(*)*Chapter 2*(*)*_

Marcel stole some bread from a few thugs that just so happened to have enough for the four of them, and he got quite the beating because of it.

After the fall of Wall Maria, survivors were forced into Wall Rose. Unfortunately the government was going through a food shortage that year, and because of it bad only went to worse when everyone started going hungry.

Bertolt watched a little girl collapse in the middle of a crowd while looking for a place to rest, her mother frantically crying out in hopes those around her would give them some food, anything that would feed her child. Of course, no one listens, some even saying that she was putting on an act to rob others of their portions, and he pitted her.

Eldians were greedy creatures.

Reiner hadn't touched his bread until Marcel practically forced it down his throat, something about 'It wasn't your fault' and 'starving yourself won't help anything' being his only source of motivation to keep the boy from starving himself. Bertolt's surprised just how controlling Marcel really is, and not in a bad way either. He was a natural leader, somehow able to keep a level head even when things started to go south, refusing to admit defeat even after getting jumped by three different men for stealing their food. He admired that about him.

He really did miss the guy.

Days go by of them struggling to survive, Marcel getting into almost every fight with high ranked soldiers about food or mouthing off how poorly they were treating everyone.

"Hey, we're giving you _our_ food remember!? You ungrateful brat! Maybe we should have just left you to the titans-"

Marcel had kicked him in the crotch and ran, flipping others off as they chased him down whatever dirt road he took off to.

They never caught him.

One day, while Bertolt was in line for his second filling of the day, he finally spotted someone he didn't expect to see. Eren was raging about something to one of the higher ups, getting kicked in the abdomen because of it and dragged away by none other than Mikasa.

 _So they survived..._ It was sort of a relief, but that only meant they had to continue to get their hands dirty to get what they wanted.

The founding Titan. He was literally just a conversation away from convincing Eren to follow him into some secluded area and taking him right then and there. But that was to easy. He could easily be taken out. Bertolt might be strong, but not when it came to hand-to-hand combat.

He remembers the fight with Reiner, so that was already out of the question, Annie couldn't take him out either, but Marcel...

"Achoo!"

Someone sneezes behind him, and it pulls Bertolt away from his thoughts, having him notice that both Mikasa and Eren were long gone now. He's glad they didn't recognize him. Not that they would, but there was a very small part of him that believed he would be exposed if they had. He shouldn't get too close to them, not yet that is. Now wasn't the time.

"Oi, boy." Bertolt blinks and looks up at an older man holding out a bowl of what he assumed was soup. He looks angry. "How long are you going to stand there? You want this or not?"

Without a second thought he takes the bowl from him and runs off back to his group, ignoring the ravenous glares he got along the way.

 _*(*)*Chapter 2*(*)*_

Hundreds of Eldian's were sent off to fight the titans a week after the invasion. It was the governments idea to 'take charge' of the situation and convince the people to fight, to take back what the land they lost. Many weren't given a choice. None of them came back.

Food was a lot easier to find after that, and Marcel no longer needed to get his ass kicked to keep the four of them from starving.

Along side other orphaned children they were given a roof over their head and a warm bed to sleep on until they got back on their own two feet. It wasn't high quality stuff, but it wasn't like anyone complained about it either, after all they were alive. Bertolt gritted his teeth at the thought. _They_ were alive. How was he supposed to feel about that?

"What we're looking for, you think it's still around?" Reiner asks. Bertolt assumes he's talking about the Founding Titan.

"Of course it is." Marcel sighs. "You think something like that would scare it off?"

 _Of course not,_ Bertolt tells himself. Eren was not a force to be reckoned with. He was arrogant yes, always going on about how he was going to take down every titan in existence, including the Colossus. At first they thought he was all talk, but after seeing what he can actually do, what he could become, opinions changed.

"You were reckless." Annie says meekly, playing around with some little doll an old woman had given her earlier; she claimed that Annie looked like her deceased granddaughter, someone from Shiganshina. Bertolt knew she was talking about him, but he doesn't say anything about it.

Marcel frowns. "Huh? What are you talking about, he did what he had to." She doesn't say anything else, doesn't even giving him another glance. Marcel rolls his eyes. "Listen. Sometimes your gonna have to gamble on things to get what you want, even if it means risking your own life. As long as you have the opportunity you go by whatever means necessary to get it." He leans back into his chair and sighs. "And in our case, we're going to have to probably do just that."

No one says anything for a while after that. Instead they sit in silence and just enjoy the presence of one another, Reiner cracking some cheesy joke at some point about one of their caretakers, having both him and Marcel rolling for a good hour. It broke the tense atmosphere, but none of them could ignore the darkness that loomed over their conscious that night.

 _*(*)*Chapter 2*(*)*_

"I'm going to join the Survey Core." Bertolt says without thinking, and he regrets it the minute he does.

The three of them looked shocked, even Annie, who has barely said anything to them in the last couple of weeks, expressed some concern. They all stopped eating to stare at him.

"Why?" She finally says, and, once again, Bertolt doesn't know how to answer the question.

He shrugs and instead says, "I think we might have a better chance finding what we're looking for there. Thats all."

It was Reiner's turn to ask. "What makes you think that?" he asks, and Bertolt finds himself in a rut npw.

He couldn't just tell them who Eren Jeager really was, for a few reasons, one being that they would find it extremely difficult to believe him, and the other being that even if they did by some miracle believe him they would ask him how he knows, and none of them would believe that response. Bertolt wasn't even sure if he believed himself at this point.

After everything he's been through - dying, seeing Marcel, dying again, saving Reiner - it was still hard to wrap his head around it all. The fact that no one even knew of the name Ymir, the fact that the Jaw Titan was now an active pawn to their mission, and the fact that he had a third chance at life - it was a lot to take in.

"If it was still in Shiganshina, and somehow survived, I would think they would want to seek vengeance." Bertolt states. He's looking at them again, noticing how confused they all were.

Marcel lifts a brow. "What makes you think he hasn't coward away and retreated or something."

"We would have noticed." He points out. "Anyone would have noticed. It's not like they're easy to hide." They have been very discreet about their conversations involving their target, because you never know who's listening, and it wasn't like they wanted too much blood on their hands. Not yet.

"I'm not saying your wrong." Comes Reiner, taking a sip of his drink. "But why would you join the Survey Core for that?"

"Shit, it can escape..." Marcel mutters, mostly to himself. A thumb to his lip. "If that happens we're stuck."

 _Well it's something._

Bertolt nods. "Yeah, that's right."

Marcel said it himself. They might need to risk their lives to get what they want, but Bertolt didn't plan on dying. Not this time. Not after coming this far. He knows the danger beyond the walls, he also knows the fate of many, but much of that needed to change. _Much of that has already changed..._

He watches Marcel take a large bite out of his food before offering the rest to Annie - she doesn't respond, Reiner happily takes it instead. _No wonder he decided to act like him..._ After Marcel died, Reiner took the role as caretaker. Bertolt remembers a time the blond had offered him his entire dinner entrée even when food was short, only because he had a hard time falling asleep that night.

Now that he thought about it, Reiner did borrow a lot of the Marcel's traits didn't he? To bad none of them were real.

By the end of the day there's laughter and various conversations going about. Things seemed to have calmed down more after the fall, and the children looked a little bit happier if not thankful for what they have now.

It was a shame that would all have to change soon.

...

Five years later, Bertolt lived up to his word and Joined the Survey Core.

* * *

 **Alrighty. The second chapter.**

 **Finally edited. Now for the next.**


	3. The Strong Survive

**I'm glad your all starting to like my littler story so far!** **I've gotten some awesome reviews from you guys and I want to thank those personally who have supported me.**

 **Please enjoy this chapter. :)**

* * *

"Who are you, soldier!?"

"Armin Arlert, from Shiganshina, sir!"

From a distance, Bertolt watched the instructor go through the lot one by one. His name was Keith Shadis, a very strict and imposing soldier.

If he remembered correctly, Shadis skipped the introductions of those who were most devastated from the attack five years ago, most likely because they had already suffered enough trauma then. He passed not only Bertolt but Reiner and Annie as well, even Marcel who had, ironically, found himself in Ymir's place oddly enough. It was something to get use to.

Shadis continued to bark at everyone, pushing one girl almost to the brink of tears. It went on like that for a while, Bertolt even coming up with a little game to pass the time and keep himself busy. He started naming the soldiers before they told the instructor who they were, and remarkably he wasn't all that bad.

When it was Jean's turn he had to hold back a smile. He had almost forgotten how hot headed and pragmatic the guy was, always butting heads with Eren for the most ridiculous reasons, and seeing him now just brought back old memories. He was a troublesome person, but they were friends once upon a time. He assumed they were anyways.

Next came Mina, then Thomas, Jean, Marco, (Bertolt swallows and takes his attention elsewhere) a soldier who's name he couldn't quite remember, and then, unavoidably, was none other than Sasha Braus.

Shadis was in the middle of lecturing Connie when he finally noticed her munching on that potato of hers, and everything went just how Bertolt remembered; he questioned her, she answered, he screamed, she had to run laps. Of course, before that she had offered him half of the potato (if you want to call it half), and for a moment it looked like he was willing to take it, but ultimately the man thought it would be best to punish her anyways.

And that was his day. When everything was all said and done, Bertolt found himself at a table with Marcel and Reiner eating dinner no different then what he had growing up - some beans, a loaf of bread and a cup of water. Everything went by faster then he expected, and before he knew it Eren was already telling his story to a bunch of others about how he survived Shinganshina.

"Their really not that tall." He started, and the three of them started to eaves drop. Annie was no longer with them. At some point she began distancing herself until she no longer seemed to be apart of them at all. Marcel tried to talk to her, but would only get a few words in before she ended the conversation all together with uncomfortable silence. Reiner was the one who suggested they leave her alone for now.

"What did it look like?" That Mina girl asked, and Eren thought about it for a moment.

"It barley had any skin, and it's mouth was huge."

 _Their talking about me..._ Bertolt felt uncomfortable.

"What about the Armored Titan? The one that broke wall Maria." Another asked.

"That's what they call it? It looked like a normal titan to me."

Reiner simply takes a bite out of his bread, almost as if he had lost interest. The questions get more personal.

"How many were there? Did you see?"

"Did any of them try to eat you?"

"What's a normal titan like?"

That last question has him gagging, and everyone stops all together. One apologizes, but Eren refuses to stop. He answers them, all of them, and continues eating as if nothing was wrong. Eren was strong.

"The titans really aren't all that tough," He continues. "If we can master them with our maneuver gear, none of them will stand a chance. I joined the Survey Corpes to do just that."

No one knew how to respond to that, so instead they just stare at him in aw, waiting for more, and that's when Jean gives his snarky remark. As predicted the two butt heads for a bit before Eren just walks away from the situation all together, Mikasa not to far behind him.

 _So all three of them survived..._

Bertolt started playing with his food, unaware that Marcel started going on about something else, nothing to do with what they just heard. He couldn't help but wonder what he was suppose to do next. Nothing that much has changed, yet that is, and if nothing does soon bad things were bound to happen. He couldn't screw up again. The very thought of going through _everything_ again sent bile up his throat. It made him feel sick to his stomach.

Bertolt dryly swallowed, suddenly not feeling very hungry anymore.

"You sure like to space out a lot." Marcel sighs, and Bertolt stops stirring his beans. "Come on, it's time to go. Their showing us to our quarters." He follows them without another word, and goes along with their conversations as he normally would.

Reiner ends up bunking with him like before, and Marcel with Connie. The two bickered about who got what side of the bed, and somehow Connie ended up with all the pillows and Marcel with the blanket.

Everyone found it funny but them.

 ***(*)***

Maneuver gear training was next.

Bertolt surprised a few with how easily he was able to handle the mechanism for someone his size, balancing without much effort, and along with a hand full others he passed easily.

Then, it happened again.

From what he's been told Eren almost knocked himself into a coma trying to keep himself suspended in the air long enough. Bertolt knew why he couldn't, but decided it would be best to wait until the instructor figured it out.

It was unavoidable when the Eldian came to bother him and Reiner for advise, along with Armin of course.

"Sorry, but I can't think of any trick to just hang in there." Reiner says. "Sorry, I don't think I can give you the advise you need."

Eren hangs his head in defeat. "I see..."

"We'll just have to hope for the best tomorrow." Armin purposes, and Bertolt's breath gets caught in his throat. He found it hard to look away from both teens. It was more then uncomfortable being around them.

He silently takes in a breath, trying to recall what he said after that. "Um," He thinks for a moment. "You two. Your from Shiganshina, right?" _It went something like that..._

Armin blinks, surprised. "Yeah...we are."

"How did you survive?" The words slip out faster then he can process, and he's struggling to take them back. "I mean, you don't have to answer that. I'm sorry I asked-"

Reiner nudges him hard. "Oi, don't bring up stuff like that."

"I-I know...I'm sorry."

Eren looks to Armin. "No, it's fine." He awkwardly scratches his head, wrapped in bandages from his latest attempt with his gear this morning. "It's alright..." He repeats, and Bertolt can feel Reiners gaze asking him 'Why the hell would you even bring that up?'. He felt bad, but a part of him needed to know the answer; a part of him needed to know what changed, how much of a difference he's made so far.

He tells the two his story, another lie, and they believe him. Reiner doesn't say anything, doesn't even bat an eye. Of course they sympathize with him, that's the most humane thing to do when someone tells you how they almost lost everything, that's why Bertolt does the same when Eren shares his story. A real story.

It was a surprise, much different then what he's heard before.

"I had gotten into an argument with my mom the day before the attack, and I was still mad at her so I did a lot to piss her off." Eren's voice was low, making it all sound more sinister then it needed to be, according to Bertolt that is. He continues with a dragged sigh. "We had another dissagrement that morning so I ran out on her before I even had breakfast. That's the last time I saw her."

Bertolt notices Armin tensing up, and there's something about that that doesn't sit right with him. Weeks before he exposed Annie the blond acted much like this, timid and unsure. He was unaware of the fact that he did this, probably because he was never a very good liar. _Did...did Armin already know something?_ The thought was terrifying.

"I was found by a soldier and tossed on a boat." Eren continued, fists clenched. "I don't even know what happened to her..."

 _There it is_

Bertolt's jaw dropped a little. This was _very_ different.

Eren's main motive to drive out the titans came from the death of his mother, and it's because of that he was defeated. It's very unlikely that she survived the attack. If no ones seen their loved one in over five years after that, it's very likely their dead, but no matter who you are, there will always be that small glimmer of hope that has you thinking 'what if'. It can be false, it can be true, but never finding out the exact answer will always leave you guessing, and _that_ was a fatal weakness.

It was a start to something new.

* * *

Marcel asked Eren to hand over his belt, and he did.

"The clasp is broken."

Eren blinks once, twice. "Huh?"

"I said it's broken." He carelessly tosses the belt back over to him, annoyed. "You need another one."

It was the morning before his final test with Shadis when Eren snuck out along with Armin and Mikasa to try out his balance, and they just so happened to run into Marcel along the way. Bertolt forgot the guy liked to wake up early for whatever reason, which was the polar opposite to many other soldiers, including Connie.

The crew cut teen was always mad when Marcel woke him up. It was never intentional, but either way Marcel didn't really seem to care. He was a hot head much like Eren and Jean, but more stuck up if anything. He was a lot kinder to those he knew fairly well, but when it came down to others, he was quite rude.

Even so, every now and then he would show some act of kindness, such as when he helped Eren. The shifter got through his final chance with the instructor without making any mistakes, switching his belt with Armin's temporarily before explaining the whole situation.

Bertolt was curious to know how Marcel figured that out so quickly, so he asked.

"His balance was shit, but not his posture." Marcel told him, slipping on his poncho. They were getting ready to go through some more training courses, trudging through the heavy rain and mud. "He wasn't doing anything wrong, and everything looked like it was in the right place, so I just assumed it was something on him physically throwing him off. My hunch turned out to be right." It was subtle, but the smile that came across him was fairly noticeable. Bertolt liked it.

The conversation came to an end when they heard the sound of a whistle, and they quickly hoisted up their backpacks and hit the ground running. Marcel wasn't very fast, but he did get threw the mud a lot easier then others, never once slipping up or falling over. It made him look cool.

That all changed however when it was finally time for them to practice taking down actual titans, and that's when trouble started.

"Galliard! What the hell are you doing!?" Shadis calls out, and Bertolt notices that the other was hiding behind one of the trees, doubled over.

After about an hour into training Marcel had thrown up twice without anyone noticing, the third time being in front of Jean after arguing with him about stealing his kill. He was sent to see a nurse and it wasn't until nightfall when everyone found out he had to spend the night there. Needless to say Connie was happy to have the bed all to himself this time.

The following morning he showed up for hand to hand combat and blew off anyone who asked him what happened, only telling Reiner and Bertolt before they were assigned partners. What he had wasn't anything serious, in fact it was completely normal, and not very uncommon for many soldiers had this problem themselves. He got motion sickness.

The doctor told him it wouldn't be easy to over come something like that, but if he worked at it long enough it would gradually go away with time. So that's what he did. Marcel woke up at the crack of dawn every morning to use his gear, and every time he came back for breakfast it took everything he had to keep his food down.

Reiner kind of found it funny, making a joke about such good food going to waste.

"You know, there are people who would kill to eat the mess you leave behind." He chuckles.

Marcel snatches the bread out of his hand and walks away.

 ***(*)***

Eren puts Jean down easily, one easy kick to the shin knocking him flat on his ass in records time.

 _Annie's technique..._ Bertolt remembers her using such a move on Reiner when they faced one another in combat. Eren was always quick to pick up on things like that, despite how narrow minded he was sometimes. Who would have guessed something like that would be one of the reasons she lost.

Shadis suddenly appears by the doorway and looks inside, angrily glaring at everyone and demanding answers as to why they were being so damn loud this late at night.

Mikasa raises her hand. "Sasha passed some gas, sir!"

"You again? Learn some damn self control..."

Sasha sat there mortified, eyes wide, and it wasn't until after he had left did she try to convince everyone that she did no such thing.

Marcel lost it then.

He practically choked on his drink holding in the laughter, pounding on his chest a few times after almost chocking on his food before lowering his head into his arms to muffle everything and let it all out. He shook violently, and his behavior only made it harder for Reiner and Bertolt not to cause a scene themselves.

It was definitely a site to see.

 ***(*)***

Ten of them graduate at the top of their class, Bertolt of course being one of them, however the only difference this time was that Marcel had replaced Krista, miraculously coming in 6th and moving Jean and the others down a rank.

She stood beside Armin, listening carefully to whatever Shadis had to say about their future and were they want to go. Krista didn't seem to mind his presence, but Bertolt would be lying if he didn't admit that it was rather strange seeing her without Ymir.

He doesn't regret it. He doesn't regret anything he has done so far. Ymir was gone, so it was unclear what Krista's future held. She might die alone, and no one would truly know Krista Lenz - Historia Reiss, no one would ever know such a person even existed. No one would know just how much she went through over the years of her life, how much she had to deal with to get were she was now, and Bertolt doesn't care.

He didn't have an ounce of remorse for her, and there was nothing he could do about that.

Their all given the choice between the Military Police, the Garrison, and the Survey Core, and their decision had to be made before the end of the week, giving them more then enough time to decide. Bertolt knew everyone in the top ten would join the Survey Core, but he never really considered asking Marcel what exactly he planned on doing.

Annie was going to join the Military police, and being part of the top ten she had every right to be there. Would Marcel join her? Maybe he had his own plan to tracking down the founding Titan. _Should I tell him?_ Once again the thought had crossed his mind, and once again did he remind himself that a lot would need to be explained after doing so.

If he were anything like Reiner or Annie, Eren would have already been gone, and he could finally go home. Everyone would be alive and he would never have to think about it ever again. But things were never that easy were they.

Bertolt finds himself glancing over at Eren while a man up front continues to give his speech, one of Shadis' superiors. He still had that burning hatred in his eyes, a flame that almost never went out. It kept him going, it kept him strong, but now it was Bertolt who carried that very same passion, and this time, no one was holding him back.

He was going to win this war.

* * *

 **Reiner really likes bread doesn't he?**

 **Any-hoo, what did you guys think? Like it? Needs some tweaking? Reviews are really, really helpful.**

 **Thank you for reading!**

 **Question:** **Just a thought, but what do you guys think is going to happen to _Marco_ next chapter? ;) **

**I wonder...**


	4. Rogue

**And now we have chapter 4.**

 **Let me know how you like it, yeah? :)**

* * *

Bertolt woke up that morning to the sound of something heavy hitting the floor.

It was him.

"Yep, we're getting nothing but sun today." Comes Jean from somewhere in the room, and everyone laughs.

In the past they all did this whenever he woke up, but it never really caught Bertolt's attention until Jean pointed it out to him, something about his sleep position predicting the forecast.

Slowly he picked himself up and laughed it off with them, a forced smile. He couldn't exactly explain why, but there was something about today that seemed odd, and not just because he had to relive it again. Bertolt felt on edge, and it wasn't until he was given his daily assignment did he finally realize why.

Today was the day the Colossus returned.

He pauses for a moment, the horse he had started grooming bending down and taking another bite of it's hay. The day was warm and fresh, just how he remembered it. He had the opportunity again to sneak away, it was perfect. No one was around but him, and given that everyone else was too busy with their chores, it was probably why he decided to strike in the first place. Reiner didn't even know about the plan.

Bertolt shook his head and sighed, continuing to groom the animal. He wondered if he should do it again, break down the wall. What would happen if he did? Marcel was the one who would usually took charge, but in truth, no one could really tell each other what they could and couldn't do, Annie being a good example, so what was holding him back?

 _"Your either all incompetent or a spineless cowards..."_

Bertolt paused again. Mikasa told him that. She told all of them that, right after...

He dryly swallows, thinking back on the mess he made. More lives were taken- _countless_ lives were taken because he made this choice, but it needed to be done. If it weren't for the Colossus, Eren would never have found out he could shift, and if Eren never found out no one else would. That's why he needs to do this. Again.

Putting the brush down Bertolt runs his fingers through the soft mane, smiling. "...Your very pretty." He found it a little odd that he'd say something like that out of the blue, but at the moment, it didn't really seem to matter what he said or did. Not yet.

The horse snorts and shakes it's head a bit in response, refusing to look up from it's meal. He never expected a response, but he found it difficult to move, enjoying the peace and quiet. It never really occurred to him until now, but the day was beautiful, relaxing. Everything was calm and inviting, and for a moment, Bertolt had forgotten about the terror outside the walls, the horror that surrounded them all - for a moment, he had forgotten how it all started.

It takes another gentle shake to remind him otherwise.

 ***(*)***

No one could believe their eyes when the Colossus appeared before them again, eyeing the seven of them one by one before the wall comes down a second time.

The force sends the soldiers flying off the wall, and it was hard to tell who went where. Smoke and debris blinded their vision, forcing those who survived to fall back. It was Eren who went straight for the kill, and that's when the Titan made it's great escape once again, vanishing through thick smoke.

Everyone's called back to the front and ordered to fight. No one had a choice. Panic spread like wild fire, and it was only because of Krista and a few others nothing got out of control.

He's assigned with Reiner and Annie to take out the titans further north, the ones closest to the gate, while Marcel had been assigned with Eren's squad. Neither of them said anything to him about the incident, even Reiner stayed quiet, doing his best to encourage the rest of their team mates. _He's forgotten again..._

Before Bertolt knew it, he had become a defender of humanity, fighting for the lives of those he endangered. It was ironic really. He managed to take down a lot more titans then he did before, even saving the life of a women who had barley escaped because of a broken leg. She thanked him over and over again with tears in her eyes, latching on to him as if her life depended on it. (it kind of did)

He took down five, six, seven titans before meeting up with his squad again, what was left of them that is. Only Reiner and Annie had returned. Untouched.

"Come on guys! If we work together I know we can do this!" Sasha says, _smiling_. She was a terrible actor.

At some point those who survived met up with one another and relocated themselves somewhere safe, away from the chaos. Some came back alone, others with very few - it was heartbreaking.

"Come on, stand up! I'll be upfront, everything's going to be alright!"

No one listened to her. No one moved or even made an effort to stop her from spouting such nonsense, but even with that it didn't stop her. Her smile faltered a little, but it was still there, and it wasn't until she tried talking to Armin did she realize how useless her efforts were. Bertolt knows what happened to him- what he saw, what he went through, and yet, it was somewhat satisfying.

Armin was broken. Defenseless. Weak. It would have been easy to take him out, and he would never put up a fight.

The thought was enticing.

 ***(*)***

Mikasa shows up and is the first one to ask the blond what happened, and he tells her.

Eren was dead.

Her world had collapsed, and Bertolt had to listen to her give that same damn speech again because of it. He could hear it on repeat for the rest of his life, and it would still hit him close to home. It angered him, inferiated him, forcing him to take everything he had to suppress that feeling. She was spouting nonsense, and only he knew that, but it worked.

They all fell for her words, and because of that, only a handful survived.

It was Jean who lead the rest of them to safety, finding the supply team hiding under tables and desks. They were scolded, almost beaten if it hadn't been for Marco. Some started throwing out ideas for an escape plan until-

"GET DOWN!" Reiner calls out, and the room shook _violently_.

A titan - no, two titans broke in. Their eyeing all of them, _hungrily_ , and everyone's screaming and running for their lives. Reiner has to tug at Bertolt to get him moving, and the both of them find themselves going along with the sea of panic, all the while Jean remained still, paralyzed with fear.

Marco's the one to call out for him, but he doesn't listen. Bertolt looks away, not wanting to see what happens next, because he knows. This is where Eren came in, taking the world by storm. Saving Jean, Marco - everyone. This is when his mission started, how it all slowly started piecing itself together.

But that didn't happen.

Something grabs both titans by the hair, pulling the both of them to the floor in a matter of seconds. It happened so fast it took a moment for Bertolt to realize what happened, an ear piercing _growl_ ripping through the air, silencing everything.

It wasn't Eren's.

"The hell?" Jean says, voice shaken.

Everyone can hear the heavy _stomp_ and low growl come from the beast bellow, steam rising as the two titans that attacked them before were now visibly dead. The scene was unsettling.

"What the hell!?" Jean repeats, louder, and as if on cue the window finally shatters and three more survivors arrive. Connie along with Armin and Mikasa had finally made their entrance, but this time the three of them looked more surprised then relieved.

"Damn, we barley made it!" Connie tapped on his now empty canister a few times before patting Armin on the back, rather a little to hard. "If it weren't for this guy we'd be dead for sure!"

Jean blinks once, twice. "Y-your alive?"

Connie smirks. "Damn straight! And look, we brought someone along with us to the party!" He points outside and everyone looks in it's direction, eyes widening when they notice another titan quickly approaching them, a much larger one with long dark brown hair and glowing green eyes. It definatley stood out more than any other abnormal titan they've seen. The Rogue titan, Eren Jeager.

 **"RRAAAAAAAWWWWRR!"**

Everyone's covering their ears, and the ground begins to shake feverously. Large footsteps are heading their way, and it doesn't take long for the other abnormal to notice. It quickly embraces itself as the impact hit's him hard, the first punch sending him backwards into a small house. Eren lets out another monstrous growl and inches closer to his target, watching it slowly pick itself up. Bertolt can't look away this time, neither could Reiner. _What's Marcel thinking!? Why did he transform?!_

They all watch the two go into combat, The Jaw titan taking every single hit. It wasn't dodging, and no one could really explain why. Reiner was the one to ask.

"What the hell are these things?"

Bertolt fought back the urge to smack him over the head. Again. Nothing made sense. Marcel wasn't stupid, he knew the risks, so why here? Why now? Bertolt just couldn't wrap his head around it!

"We can finally get out of here while their distracted!" Connie mentions, and Jean practically scowls.

"You think we'll be saved by a titan?!"

"You think we... can make good use of a titan?" Stutters a soldier behind them.

Jean turns to him. "No way, that's far from delusional-"

"It doesn't matter what they are." Mikasa interrupts. "All we need is for them to continue their rampage."

And she was right. Like before Eren distracted the rest of the titans as they all made their escape, alive, but it was unclear what was about to happen now. It scared Bertolt a little bit.

He's nudged forward by Reiner into the basement of the building, and that's were they all come up with a new plan. Armin, of course, came up with one, however it was Marco who put the idea into action, and just like before Bertolt was once again assigned as one of the assailants to take down any incoming titans that had wandered inside.

As they begin to carry out the plan, he notices two things: Marco Bolt was no coward, and he admittedly had more balls then any other soldier Bertolt's known. He feared titans just as every Eldian should, but he hid it well, he had control over it, and that was his ultimate weapon. Like Armin he was smart, but his heart was kind and forgiving. He would have made a good friend to anyone, it was sort of a mystery though as to why he got so close with Jean.

The rest of the assailants are watching the group bellow go to work, using themselves as bait as titans curiously approach them. They ready their guns, and with Marco's orders they all fire at once, blinding every titan and giving Bertolt the chance to attack.

Connie and Sasha miss their targets, and again Mikasa and Annie save the both of them, but before Reiner got the chance to praise the females Bertolt had already made his way outside.

He maneuvers himself onto a roof close by, and is surprised to notice just how _many_ had been slaughtered, Titan corpses scattered everywhere.

A handful of others approach the scene moments later, the rest of the group heading back up the wall. He's given an odd look from Annie, but she doesn't say anything, all of them watching in horror as the Rogue titan is outnumbered by other titans. It cries out in pain as it's slowly being eaten, no one knows how to react, let alone what to do, but then another problem comes along.

From what Bertolt could remember that was the titan that ate one of the members of Eren's squad. It approached them, and that's when Eren sprung into action again. He forcefully removed himself from the cannibals around him, ripping his arms off in the process as he makes his way over to it.

"Hey, that's the titan that ate Marcel!"

...

...

...

 _...what?_

Reiner turns to Armin, surprised. "Wait, what did you just say?"

"That titan, i-it jumped on us while we were in the air, Marcel had pushed Thomas out of the way when it-"

Another scream came from the Rogue as it attacked Marcel's killer, putting it down in one swift move as he bit the nape and threw it's lifeless form at other approaching titans. It fought relentlessly for a while, a lot longer then it had the first time, almost as if it had energy to spare. By this point he would have passed out, collapsed and finally revealed who he really was, but that didn't happen. Instead more titans kept approaching the Rogue, and one by one they were slaughtered without mercy.

Annie is the first one to notice the sudden approach of the Jaw titan, and everyone watches as it takes down three titans before they could get to Eren. This was the first time anyone's seen it in action, including the warriors. Of course they've seen Marcel transform before and try out his new form, but they never really _seen_ him use it for battle, it almost looked like he was dancing.

The two abnormal's...they were working together, taking down every titan that approached them, but it wasn't until all of them were cleared out did the Rogue titan finally turn. It attacked the Jaw titan again, and once again it did nothing to defend itself, hitting the ground with a loud _thud._ This time it didn't get up.

 _What was going on..._

Without warning the Rogue lets out a final cry before finally going down, face planting onto the floor. It stopped moving, but something was coming out of it's neck. Bertolt watches Mikasa approach Eren; watches her embrace him, watches her check his heart beat, and finally, he watches her cry. This was probably the second time he's seen the female show weakness, after this he'll probably never get to see something like this again.

Armin immediately joines the two, and it was Jean who had finally broken the silence and asked. "...What about that one?" Their eyes fall on the Jaw titan, and it remained quiet as it watched the scene before it.

Jean cursed under his breath, blades out and ready before Reiner put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hold on."

"Hold on? To what!? We don't know what that thing might do!"

"It...could also be someone we know?" Reiner says, but he's not even sure if he believes himself.

Mikasa and Armin get Eren to safety before their doting all over him, Mikasa refusing to let go of him as she continues to cradle him. Bertolt wants to say something, but can't find the words. His focus is on Marcel, and he's mortified when steam slowly seeps off of it's limp form, another body emerging from the nape. No one went to find out who.

* * *

 ***dramatic music plays* And with this, I leave you.**

 **Please comment and tell me what you think! Reviews give me hope~ 3**

 **Also, remember, looks can be very deceiving. *winks***

 **(sorry I couldn't get to Marco this chapter. I forgot this happened, but I promise his arc comes next)**


	5. Whatever it Takes

**I would like to thank everyone who has been reading my little story so far. It's very appreciated. :)**

 **Please enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

It was only a matter of time before everyone found out about Eren, let alone Marcel. His cover was blown, identity compromised. Bertolt couldn't believe any of it.

Was everything he'd done so far for nothing? Was saving him a mistake? Why did he transform in the first place? He had _so_ _many_ questions, none of which that could be answered. It was _killing_ him.

Right now they were being investigated, and if it wasn't for commander Pixis both shifters would have been executed without hesitation. The older man was calm, treating the both of them as if they were actually human, even after Eren transformed to save his friends. While Mikasa and Armin were at his side, a certain someone was standing by Marcel, refusing to give him up. It was Mina Carolina.

She had survived. She was alive.

Bertolt couldn't help but stare at her in disbelief. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, Marcel behind her while she went up against the captain before he fired the first shot, and after Eren transformed, that's when Armin finally stepped in and saved all their asses.

Now all five of them were on top of the wall, away from the chaos they have caused, and Bertolt was impatient.

He waited, waited for the commander to tell them all about how Eren Jeager was going to plug up wall Maria using his new found ability, how he was going to give humanity their very first victory, and when he did, his heart dropped.

Marcel was also part of the plan.

"Belonging to the training corps, this is Eren Jeager and Marcel Galliard. They are the products of a successful top-secret Titan transformation research." His voice resonated over the crowd, loud and robust. No one could believe him, not even Bertolt. It almost sounded like a joke. "They are both capable of generating a titans body and moving it according to thier will."

Connie could be heard talking about how insane this whole thing was, Jean telling him to shut up. Both shifters looked unfazed, Marcel especially. He was almost unreadable, it was difficult to figure out what exactly was going on in his head.

Their given a new order: protect the two titans at all cost while they seal the wall. Someone losses it, going off about how he was never going to step foot in that hell again, and his life is threatened because of it. Marco helps to calm the soldier down.

Both Bertolt and Reiner are called by one of the higher ups at some point to speak with Pixis, and they go without question. Marcel is too busy conversing with Armin and Eren when they get there, so their stuck talking with the commander and Mina.

"I've been told you two are quite close with Galliard over there." Pixis says, and there's something about it that wants to know more.

Bertolt speaks for the both of them. "Y-yes, we've known each other since we were kids. This comes as a surprise for us to. We... knew nothing about-"

"Don't worry about it, I trust you two. Not even Mikasa and Armin over there were fully aware of this. However-" He places his hands behind his back. "As of now, I can't promise you that everyone believes what either of you say." His attention turns to Reiner, who's at a loss for words. He looks uncomfortable. _Was he always like this?_ No, after Marcel's death he decided to take his role, take his life. This was the real Reiner Braun - afraid, unsure.

"Is there something we can do to help?" Bertolt fights back a swallow, he can feel himself start to sweat.

Pixis looks down at Mina. "It would be very appreciated if you could help those two out and take back what we've lost." He smiles. "Actually, the reason I called you both up here at all was because this young lady requested your presence, and it wasn't like I could say no."

The two give her questioning looks, and Bertolt notices something different about her. She looked broken, much like all the others who had survived. That cheery smile she always had on her was gone, and her bubbly presence seemed to vanish as well. It was pitiful. Neither of them said anything about it.

She let out a small sigh, fists clenched. It took her a few tries, but eventually she was able to find her voice. "I-I see the three of you together a lot...so, I thought you... you should know that..." Her eyes start to water, but she refuses to break, biting her lip in protest. "Marcel. He saved me."

"How?" Reiner asks, far to quickly.

"In, _that_ form. He...He tried to save Thomas, save everyone, but-" She wipes her eyes this time, straightening herself out before clearing her throat. "I'm sorry, let me start over..."

"Well Ms., please try to keep this little meeting brief, we plan on heading out soon." Pixis reminded them, and the female nods before saluting him off. Bertolt and Reiner do the same.

She tells them everything that happened; The titan that unfortunately jumped the team by surprise, how Marcel was able to act fast enough and yank Thomas away from the situation, how he lost control in the process and ended up having his leg practically amputated after being caught in the impact - all of it. Eren went to help, but his situation was no different. The rest of the squad died in the process of trying to rescue their comrades, and Mina...

"I saw Marcel transform. I-it was so loud. It happened so fast... but he saved me, even when he was dying."

A hundred more questions flooded through Bertolts head, and he had half the mind to actually _break_ this girl for it. Why would Marcel save her? An _Eldian_. He was the one that constantly reminded them all how terrible they all were, the pain and suffering they have caused them. So why, why, _why?_

He found it very difficult to listen to anything else she had to say, so it was up to Reiner to finally fake a smile and say something that had the girl breaking down in front of the both of them, and Bertolt hated it.

He hated it a lot.

 _ ***(*)***_

Their given the all clear when green smoke is fired into the air, and everyone's forced back into hell.

Mikasa and her squad are with Eren, while Marcel went along with another female named Rico and her group. She was a fearless soldier, and a skilled one at that. Bertolts never seen her in battle, but he has heard rumors about her, so that's probably why she was entrusted with such an important mission.

The Jaw Titan is the first one on the scene, and Bertolt watches from above as it lets out a cry before it gets put to work. He never really noticed it, but much like Ymir the Jaw Titans form was slightly hunched over, about a few meters shorter then rogue, but much taller then Ymir's form. His appearance remained the same, and in Bertolts opinion, it looked nothing like him - in all fairness however, he couldn't say he did either in his form.

The Titan took down multiple titans that surrounded the area, leading many of them away from the bolder, giving Eren the advantage.

The Rogue titan appeared once again, and the site of both them had everyone staring in aw. Mikasa watched him like a hawk, and after he finally got up on his two feet, he lost control. Eren swung at her with killing intent, and if she were any slower, she would surly be dead.

"Ackerman!" The head leader is on his way to save her when the titan goes for a second strike, but she refuses to give up. She's trying to talk him out of it, getting up close and trying to convince him that she's on his side, but in the end he only ends up punching himself in the nose, knocking himself unconscious.

Red smoke is fired.

The mission failed.

They should have given up, run away, stay alive, but they continued to try. No one retreated, instead they decided to keep going, no matter the cost.

Bertolt played his part. He fought along side Reiner and others, taking out the ones Marcel had missed. Armin had already made his way on to the scene, making an effort to bring back his friend.

"Galliard! Change of plans!" Rico announced, and Marcel turns to look at her. "We need you to make your way over to that bolder and see what you can do!"

It was quite the site to see, and both Bertolt and Reiner couldn't help but watch their friend make his way over to the rock. He was slow, taking his time getting there. Maybe Marcel was finally starting to realize his mistake...

"Damn...plugging the hole like that. This plan is too reckless." Reiner comments, switching out his blades. "They both might get eaten if their not careful."

Bertolt sighs. "Don't say things like that."

Reiner shrugs. "Yeah, yeah. But seriously when it comes down to it-"

 _why...WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?_

Huh?

It was like the everything around him came to a sudden hault, and the only sound Bertolt could hear was his own heart beat. It was beating at his chest at an alarming rate, hands shaking and covered in sweat. This conversation...they've had it before... it happened when...

His eyes widen.

 _Marco_

Bertolt relives the situation, watching Marco Bott getting eaten alive in front of him, all because he just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. He...he was going to die. Marco was going to die if he didn't do anything.

That needed to change...

He's brought back to reality, and does the first thing that comes to mind.

"-when it comes down to it I might just have to do something with-"

"NO, DON'T!"

Reiner is taken back, and his hands instinctively reach for his weapons. He blinks several times. "What the hell!? Why are you-"

"THE WALL! WE NEED TO PLUG IT UP!"

The two are now just staring at each other, and it takes every fiber of Bertolt's being to keep himself in check. He's shaking, spouting utter nonsense. Marco's screams occupied his thoughts, and it was _haunting_. He wanted to forget. Things just had to change this time around, they had to! He didn't deserve to die! Marco was innocent!

"Why are both of you shouting?"

Marco's voice hits him hard, and as soon as he turns around it almost feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. There he was, alive and well, and this time he got to stay like that. Safe. Marco Bott was safe.

Reiner clears his throat. "We were...talking about the plan." He says, straightening himself out.

Marco frowns. "That's good, but we really do need to keep moving...Look, there's a titan heading this way, we need to take it down."

Bertolt looks over at the approaching titan, and immediately notices that it's the very same one that ate Marco. He has to keep himself from laughing when Marco's the one that takes it down.

 ** _*(*)*_**

Marcel's unable to lift the boulder.

He instead continues to take down titans until Armin's finally able to bring Eren back, and everyone watches the Rogue pick up the boulder and place it in front of the hole Bertolt worked oh so hard to make. They all cheer, roar with victory. Humanity has finally won their first battle, and with Marcel's help, the death toll decreased drastically.

The survey corps comes around and helps out with the rest of the clean up, taking out however many titans they have missed. Bodies are found, but not many. Not Marco's. Jean greets him, but's it's not a very happy one. The both of them are assigned to clean up and help identify the dead, and Marco is the one fighting back vomit when he spots the mess one of the titans left behind, it's leftovers held together by mucus stomach acid, muffling the silent screams that will never be heard again.

Two titans are captured just like before, and their strangely the very same ones Annie managed to kill. Bertolt can't quite remember their names.

"Their going to be put on trial soon." Mina suddenly told him. She was helping Annie recover a few bodies found near a titans corpse, a soldiers head bitten clean off. No one could identify who she was. "Marcel and Eren I mean...They were handed off to the government for now..." She says, voice low.

She didn't need to tell him anything else, but Bertolt listened either way. Eren got off free before, so there was a chance Marcel would as well. He pictured the two of them in front of a judge, pictured what exactly Marcel would say or do in that kind of situation. He did pretty well under pressure, but this was going to be a frightening time for the both of them. Their secret was at stake, and getting past this trial alone was just going to be a challenge in itself.

When the day finally comes, it was Mina who was called in as Marcel's witness, and Bertolt could do nothing but hold his breath and wait.

* * *

 **And there we have it, chapter 5. Marco lives and no one has really died. So far so good...right? I wonder if saving Marco was really such a good decision?**

 **Anyways, thank you all for reading! Please leave a comment if you can, and don;t hesitate to follow or favorite! I'll have the next chapter out as soon as I can!**


	6. Her

**I have no reason as to why this was late.**

 **Once again, I own nothing.**

 **Please enjoy!**

* * *

Bertolt could do nothing but smile.

He was 'happy' to help take back wall Maria, he was 'happy' that humanity had just gained their very first victory against the titans, and he was 'happy' many of his comrades survived through it all.

This all made him _very_ happy...

It almost feels like an eternity before an announcement was made. They were going to hold a small ceremony for the fallen, burning all the bodies they could find and identify, the ones family members refused to accept or couldn't dispose of them for financial reasons. There weren't many this time, but it never changed the horrible sense of dread and despair that overcame them. Bertolt didn't want to feel anything, but watching Connie sob uncontrollably near the flames, and Marco struggling to keep himself together, it was hard not to feel something.

Jean was the first to announce that he would be joining the survey core, and it was then that Bertolt remembered his promise. He was to join as well, and he made sure to tell everyone just that, to remind Annie and Reiner. No one responded, but it was obvious what their decision was.

Hours later they did just that, except for one. Annie leaves the group, just like before. Bertolt feels her leave his side, but this time it was expected. A part of him wanted to stop her, but what could he say to make her stay? It was her decision, and like it or not, he was just going to have to except that. However, he did remind himself to keep a better eye on her.

But somethings changed - Mina stays, and Bertolt doesn't have the power to do anything about that either.

The following day their all over new routines, preparing for the hell that was to bestow them in the future. They introduce themselves to other survey members, memorizing certain scouting formations and other methods, their even assigned with their own horse- Connie was very close to naming his Jean.

"What!? I don't look like a horse!"

"Really? I see no difference."

Marco gives an annoyed glance and tells them both off.

Later that evening they go on a few test rides before finally meeting up with Eren and Marcel again.

Mikasa's instantly asking questions. Some along the lines of "Eren are you alright?" and "Did they hurt you in any way?"

Marcel rolls his eyes. "He's fine. We both are. Damn midget nearly knocked his teeth out, but hey, he's still breathing."

He's smiling, Mikasa doesn't find him very amusing.

They were all here, they were alive. It was a strange feeling. Bertolt takes a breath, watching the scene play out as before. Jean never told Eren about Marco's death, instead it was Mina who almost broke down in front of the group, apologizing to both shifters.

Her body shook violently, head hung low. It caught Bertolt by surprise.

He never really considered it, but why did she join the survey core? To make up for her loss? For her team? It was a cowardly move, a stupid move, but who was he to say anything.

Once again he's not paying attention, lost in his own thoughts when Marcel jokingly pats him on shoulder before leaving with the rest of the group. But Bertolt has questions - _so_ many questions, and he'd be damned if any of them were left unanswered.

 ** _*(*)*_**

Their immediately put to work, going out on their first expedition outside the walls the very next day.

Bertolt was prepared, but he couldn't say the same for everyone else.

Much like Riener and Marcel, he already knew what to expect, unlike them however he also knew what it was like to be helpless and weak against the terror. They were soldiers now, no longer the warriors they were raised to be, and it took his first near death experience to finally realize that.

He was now Bertolt Hoover - the tall, sweaty, quiet guy who ate more than three men. That's how his friends viewed him anywas, that's how everyone viewed him, and he was bounded to that lie till death. So when the commander orders them to move forward, and the crowd cheers them into battle for the first time, he does nothing but follow, playing along with the very script he created.

Their formation is slightly different this time, and Bertolt's no longer with the group he traveled with before. Mina wishes him luck before going off into her own formation, and he pulls a smile and returns the gesture.

He doesn't know how much time has past, but it almost felt like an eternity. He thought about Reiner, worried. He was strong, but no longer very reliable, probably off playing soldier, and it wasn't like he could guarantee Marcel's safety either after his reckless attempt to save Mina.

The leader of his group suddenly praises him for his work. "Wow, for a rookie you're pretty good at this. Glad to have you on our side."

Bertolt chuckles and thanks him, but as soon as he does three rounds of black smoke are fired all at once beyond the thick forest up ahead. One of his teammate's fire the same, and not long after that another member had approached their them and broke the news that the entire right flank has been wiped out.

Their forced to retreat and meet up, no one bothering to ask questions as to how it all happened, but that's when Bertolt remembers.

Annie was making her move.

Rumors of the female titan spread quickly, and it throws everyone into a silent panic. No one knows what to expect, and from the looks of it Reiner can't seem to completely wrap his head around the situation either. Their next order is to wait at the entrance of the forest and make sure no titans got in or out, in short, they were bait to lure nearby deviants and keep them busy.

They place themselves above the large tree branches, making it almost impossible for any titan to reach, but one could never be too careful.

Marcel yawns and starts to fiddle with one of his blades. Out of everyone he just looks completely bored, somewhat similar to Ymir. Bertolt wonders if some of his traits somehow rubbed off on her, even a little bit. The thought was...unnerving.

"So, anyone got an idea as to what the hell we're up against?" Asks Marcel. He turns to Bertolt and points over to the forest behind him. "And when did they decide to bring cannons along with them?"

Connie drags out a sigh. "Who knows."

It grows quiet again, and more rounds of canon fire could be heard in the distance. Bertolt has to fight the urge to cover his ears. Annie was fighting for her life right now to retrieve Eren Jeager, and it pained him to know that, right now, he was powerless to do anything to stop it. It had crossed his mind to talk her out of it the day before, but what exactly could he have said to stop her? No one would believe him, and after so long, Bertolt wonders just how real his situation actually was.

One of the titans start climbing a tree not to far from him, and Jean and Armin are forced to find another spot.

He watches the titan, carefully. It's struggling to even hold its arms up, both eyes focused on not its concentration, but the feast above him. Bertolt almost feels its jaws ripping into him, and that sends a cold chill down his spine. At some point they make eye contact with one another, and the beast does something no one expected it to do.

It stops.

An older squad members close by could be heard readying her weapon, but Bertolt doesn't pay mind to it. Instead he continues to eye it down, and after a few breaths he finally realizes it wasn't staring at him, but instead Marcel.

"W-what's it doing?" Sasha asks.

"It's being weird." Marcel quickly puts, drawing out his other blade. "Don't worry, I got it." It goes down in one blow, hitting the ground with a heavy thud. Bertolt winces, the scene was very similar to how Ymir was put out.

Armin looks amazed, but doesn't say anything about it, and that worries Bertolt. Anything the analytic thought about sent off warning signals. He never knew what was going on through his head, Armin just thought about _everything,_ and that made everything all the more difficult _._

He had to play his cards right this time. No mistakes.

Canon fire could still be heard beyond the trees, and all they could do was sit and listen, hoping everything just turned out for the best. Bertolt decides to count heads, refresh his memory. He spots Marco, not far away from Jean, and coincidentally right beside Mina. She has a hard time taking her eyes off of Marcel, and after noticing his stare she quickly looks away all together, glancing back again once or twice.

It takes a while, but eventually Annie gets backed into a corner, and her cries for help pain the warrior. Titans rush into the forest, many of them stumbling into one another as they make their way onto the scene. His team goes after them, but it's impossible to take them all down.

Much like before, they go in, seek, and devour. The female titan is completely torn apart in a matter of seconds, her identity remaining a mystery.

A sense of relief washes over Bertolt.

She got away.

"Everyone, head back to your horses. We're going home."

Jean blinks several times. "What? It's already over?"

It's not, Bertolt thought. Everything was far from over.

Annie plans on attacking again, there has to be a way he can assist her this time. Something to help her, out even a little bit! He's untying his horse when someone nudges his side.

"...Everything's fine." Marcel whispers, and that's when it all starts making sense - his behavior, why he was so calm.

Fortunately Annie wasn't the only one with a plan.

 ** _*(*)*_**

Eren had transformed not long after their retreat, and Mikasa immediately goes in after him despite Sasha's warning, but so does Marcel.

"Wait hold on!" Connie shouts, but they don't listen.

Bertolt swallows and bites his lip. It doesn't feel right, but he trusted Marcel either way. His life was now out of hands for now, it was up to him now.

"We have to keep going!" Tells their leader up ahead, the woman from before. Her name was Nanaba. "Don't try and stop them."

Bertolt obeys.

This was just like before, nothing had changed. When he and Reiner were forced to leave their comrade behind, leaving her in the hands of those soldiers, it hurt a lot. They slightly worried, for her safety, for her life, they didn't know how it would turn out. It was just like that all over again.

Eventually they retrieve Eren, and both Marcel and Mikasa come back unharmed alongside captain Levi, but the stories different.

He cautiously asks Marcel what happened when they make a stop to refuel and collect the dead, a grim moment, but at all the while it was a time of rest. However he doesn't say anything, he can't, and Bertolt can feel the rage boiling within him.

He was tired of this, tired Marcel's behavior. " _What is wrong with you!?"_ He want's to cry out just that, wants to throw a fit and just finish everything then and there; take Eren and disappear. But he doesn't, because that would be a very stupid move to make, and Bertolt isn't looking forward to dying by the hands of anyone again.

Marcel can see this, but his expression doesn't change. Instead he's interrupted by Mina, asking him if he was ok and if anything was broken. She was pretty clingy with Marcel, Bertolt notices, and for whatever reason it doesn't seem like he really minded, or even cared really.

Aggravated, Bertolt decides to leave the two alone and go ask Mikasa this time. She was currently looking after an unconscious Eren.

"Er, Mikasa..." Bertolt starts, feeling something stir within him as soon as he does.

He remembers the time she attacked him head on, slitting his throat and wrist in the process, and that hurt like _hell_. He also remembers that look she gave him after finding both him and Reiner running off with Eren. It was _horrifying_.

It amazed him how calm and sympathetic she was towards the teen now, and he has to remind himself just how truly frightening their bond really was compared to anyone else he's seen.

He clears his throat this time before asking her.

"Why do you want to know?" She asks, bluntly.

The question catches Bertolt by surprise. He's scrambling to put together an answer. "I...Marcel won't tell me much about what happened himself. I just want to know if he's alright." A terrible reason, but one none the less, and it doesn't seem like Mikasa payed any mind toward it. He's thankful to know how little she knows about his true intentions.'

"I can understand why." She replies, taking her attention back to Eren. "He is the one who defeated her and saved us after all."

* * *

 **I have no reason for making this chapter late. I apologies.**

 **I'm also starting college tomorrow btw, so I don't know how long it will be until my next update. But I promise you I'll get it out as soon as possible! Also, please let me know about any typos or extra wording! I once again went through this without looking over it very much.**

 **Thanks for reading! (*whispers* reviews help, just saying)**


	7. I'm not dead I swear

Hey guys!

I promised myself that I would _NEVER_ something like this, but...

So yeah, this story _ **isn't**_ dead I promise.

Yes, I did put it on hiatus for a while because not only did I not like it, but I started losing interest in the manga after a while (especially with these new kids and that Flotch dude that's _someho_ w still around for whatever reason) However after coming up with some new inspiration thanks to a few other aot fanfics - especially one called 'Rogue' by RedCoaster, please check it out it's sooo good - I decided to keep going.

I might delete a few chapters here and there, mostly to change the plot of the story (mainly the latest and probably the one before that) because of new ideas that i've had for this fic for a while now, but again, don't worry I'll try to keep it going.

In the meantime though I would like to first fix up the chapters already posted because ooooh boy do they need attention. I have already touched up the first few chapters so if you want to give those a quick read again feel free to do so! (also feel free to point out any mistakes that had been made)

Thank you all for your support and understanding! :)


End file.
